Picture shows the Ultimate winner, Gulder Ultimate Search 7
To be a man, they say, is not a day job. To be the Ultimate man? Well, thus far, Gulder, Nigeria’s premium larger beer has been carefully building a perception in our minds. The brand wants us to subjectively see it as an object that projects the image of an alpha male.
To be clear, a man, like the city of Rome is never a day’s project. Even the brand knows, that’s the reason it didn’t rest on it oars after its epic TV spot which showcased a black Greek warrior. To walk the talk, the brand created a reality TV show called the Ultimate Search whereby contestants are thrown into a thick forest to crack a riddle that tests everything that is to be a man: ability, agility, endurance, intelligence etc. The only thing that makes the Ultimate man impotent is its own competitor which is culturally believed to be an aphrodisiac. Remember that scene in Femi Kayode’s screen play Magun (Thunderbolt)? Ace actress Bukky Ajayi served her son-in-law a bottle of Guinness stout in the evening but she had an unspoken expectation for her daughter which became an open disappointment when her daughter confessed that there was no show all through the night. “After taking my “Odeku”, she cursed!
Today, it seems it is the Ultimate man who is under the curse of the Chinese who are fond of saying, “may you live in interesting times”. Indeed, the Ultimate man is living in an interesting time. A time when the kidnap of the Chibok girls is like the proverbial bed bug on Mr. President’s wrinkled scrotum. It takes more than Patience (Apologies to Her Excellency) to get it off. Hence, everyone is looking for a hero. Last week, on this column, we were looking the way of fictitious Jack Baeur of the 24 fame, little did we know that our hero was so close it was right in the fridge. Gulder… the Ultimate man. He is a man’s man, man!
For so long, Gulder has been running the Ultimate Search. Sometime ago, they had the celebrity edition. This year, the Ultimate man seems to be looking the other way while the real Ultimate Search is on. Forget the fussy reality show, it’s time the Ultimate man stepped up and take on the real Ultimate challenge for real. The Commander-in-chief has been crying out for material support. What if Gulder comes to the rescue? Did I here you say a brand shouldn’t be mixed with politics? Its’ humanity we’re talking about here.
There have been case studies where FMCG brands played leadership roles in public consciousness. In Romania for example, ROM Chocolate was losing market share to American made Snickers and Mars brand. The brand changed its own wrapper to the American flag and cried out the foul of American take-over of the nation, it jolted the nation and rekindled the consumer’s love for ROM chocolate. Please copy this link into your browser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt9NBtW4sbA
Imagine this: what if due to the mood of the nation, this year’s Ultimate Search is Military Ops Edition; not for consumers but for a good cause. The Brand partners the Defense headquarters. The mission is clear: bring back our girls. The specific battalion that eventually helps in bringing back our girls gets the prize money and the leader is of course the Ultimate man. With this happy ending, the step by step plan of how the operation was carried out will be re-enacted into a mobile film that you can watch on your device only if you enter the code under the crown cork of a Gulder Ultimate Search Military Ops limited edition bottle. Now, Can a reality show get more real than this?
Finally, a reality TV that speaks to our reality. This brave act will seal the Ultimate man as the Ultimate hero and will add some coins into his pouch. Talking about execution, the brand can either choose to make this a covert operation before unveiling itself during the euphoria when the girls are freed or the brand’s goal is made known to all and sundry (drinkers) from the onset. Note: due to the high sensitivity of this Ultimate Search Military Operation, consumers can only see the real reality show from the happy ending.
Even if we like to think of this idea as a mere flight of fancy, isn’t is a time to reflect on what it means to be the Ultimate man in the age of the rise of feminine men as well as the celebration of imperfection? The challenge before today’s man is how to conquer the city, which is an urban jungle in itself.
The Ultimate test is on. The Ultimate man is MIA. (Missing In Action).